I think we all experience the same levels of anxiety inducing craziness after bringing kiddos into the world. Literally, from the moment we first hold our babes until we ship them off to school or daycare. Whether we ship them off to daycare at 3 months or earlier, or if we do it at 6 months, 2 years, or we wait until they enter preschool. No matter when it happens...the struggle is the same. We face a world of emotions. They are always the same regardless of the timing. The fear, guilt, the struggle of finding our place as parents. It's a whirlwind of ever evolving emotions. Knowing that every other mother finds this transition difficult is often of no help. After all we are facing something new, something completely undesired. Girl, even knowing you are not alone is no assurance of sanity. I get it, I really do. I've been there, just like you. Looking around to see all the other moms, seemingly complacent in their new found roles, like they are a pro at it or something. (fyi, they are crying in the car just like the rest of us.)
It's so easy to see others and do the comparison game. SO EASY. Truth of the matter is that we are all experiencing the same feelings about the sudden although brief detachment.THE EXACT SAME FEELINGS. We just all handle them differently. That does absolutely nothing from our fear of what our kids are doing during their first day alone. We all worry about that. We all worry about whether or not they are being included, are they being loved, are they lost in the crowd, are they making new friends...That is what makes us all so similar.
Parenting doesn't come with a handbook, that's what we are all told, aren't we? That really doesn't help. Truth is, nothing helps. The hard reality is that we have to live it and trust that we have done the best we can. (including those days when we just wanted to sit and breastfeed while Netflix binging) Guess what...THATS OK. That famous line, 'The kids are alright', is dead on. Children are so resilient. They will grow and thrive as individuals, because that's what they are. INDIVIDUALS. Real Talk. Parenting isn't much more than creating a space for them to be themselves. We all just need to take a deep deep breath and relax. Let them be themselves, and offer guidance when needed. Outside of that, they really will end up doing amazing stuff. Allow them the space, and they will surprise you. It's all a lesson. For them, for us, for society. My favorite parenting motto is "Let them be" and "Love wins". As a mom or dad, you really cannot lose. Love and love more, that's all there is to it.
From an overwhelmed mama, who feels like a failure lots and lots of nights.
I am a DONA Certified birth Doula. Serving the greater Kansas City metro area. I am also Rebozo and Dad Certified and a Placenta Encapsulation Specialist. My heart's passion is to be able to work within the birthing community to serve expecting women through the childbearing experience.